Orko

Fuck you, Lactobacillus!

"O" is the 15th letter of the alphabet, and this is my 15th attempt to clone Whitchwood's Hobgoblin Ale. "O" stands for ORKO, the lovable royal magician to the court of King Randor of Eternia... Remember He-Man? A lot of you are probably either to old, or to young to know what I'm talking about.

Anyway, "O" also stands for "Oh NO! Not again!" As a child watching He-Man, I used to identify with Orko. Just like me, he was always fucking everything up.

He had the best of intentions, but no mater how hard he tried, his ventures would end in disaster. Half the episodes ended with Orko attempting a magic trick that would backfire. Man-At-Arms would get soup, water, or some other shit dumped over his head, then yell out "Orkoooooooo!!!" in a total rage, while everyone else laughed and the screen faded out. I often wondered what happened AFTER the fade out though. Did Man-At-Arms chase down Orko and beat his little ass with a leather belt? I lost a fair amount of sleep contemplating that.

THE GRAIN BILL

11 Pounds 2-row
5 Ounces crystal
2 Ounces special-B
1 Ounce black patent
2 Ounces roasted barley

THE MASH PROFILE

Strike with 12 Litres @ 76° Celsius for 66° Celsius. Rest for 90 Minutes.

THE RESULTS

At 67° Celsius - 69° Celsius, the mash was a bit hot, but I figured trying to cool it down any would just lead to more disaster.

1.45 Ounces goldings boil (9 AAU)
1 Ounce fuggles finish
1 Ounce goldings/fuggles dry

I re-pitched wyeast 1335 from IPA#2.

OG: 1.044

TG: 1.009

Such good attenuation! Must be because of the fucken LACTIC BACTERIA!

"Oh no! Not AGAIN!"

Well it wasn't heavy contamination, but it was definitely there. I bottled it anyway hoping that carbonization would mask some of the sourness. It actually did improve a little after it was fully primed, but not enough so that I didn't make a funny face after tasting it. Maybe that's why Orko went around with just his eyes showing over that scarf of his... Or maybe he was just hiding the evidence of the constant beatings he received from Man-At-Arms. We never got to see what Orko's face looked like, and I'll never know what- if anything- exactly happened after those fade-outs. All I know is that when I fuck up, no one laughs, at least not immediately anyway. More over, the closest I ever get to a conclusive fade-out, is me passing out after drinking alone in the dark for six hours.