M is for MALT, and it's a dark future ahead for me. Dark ruby in fact. For a long time I've been fiddling around with the dark malts in order to get that rich ruby red that I love so much. I think I've finally become comfortable with the problem as this batch turned out so well. This isn't to say that it was fantastic over all. The taste was nothing out of the ordinary, which is to say that it was drinkable.

Speaking off dark futures though, I have often wondered how I would get by should the world turn post apocalyptic. This assumes that I survive the apocalypse in the first place, so maybe I'm getting ahead of myself, but still...

We need only look to the Mad Max films for an example of what it might be like. If the landscape was fraught with roving hordes of leather clad savages lead by demented war lords, a nerd like myself who might narrowly out weigh Ichabod Crane, at a 145 Pounds, would probably benefit from a well developed survival strategy.

I mean, just look at these guys...

It's not that they look all that scary. It's something far more subtle. A costume is something you use to look out of the ordinary, in order to impress others. If it wasn't abnormal you wouldn't bother, as it would have no novelty, and so no effect. The "good guys" in the Mad Max films don't look much different than the villains pictured above. Their hockey gear just has different after market add-ons, and sometimes a lighter color scheme. Essentially, these people drive around ALL DAY dressed like this, and they find this normal. In other words, those aren't costumes, those are business suits.

Judging by the hair styles and the eye liner, I might have more to worry about than just my life if I crossed their path. What could I do? I'm a fencer, so I know how to use a sword, but out numbered in a world full of guns, this can only take one so far. I could get a gun too, but then I would just be like everyone else who had a gun; in trouble if I'm out numbered. Eventually the bullets would run out, but there would be a few who could make new bullets. A few. Those few would be useful.

That's the key, you have to be useful. When I learned to brew I realized that I suddenly had a truly USEFUL SKILL. I can make alcohol.

Whether I fell in with a band of reasonably democratic human beings, or became a slave to the ass-pirates, my ability to make alcoholic beverages, or even perhaps industrial alcohol could save my neck.

If I was a slave and decided to escape, again I could use my knowledge of fermentation to my advantage. It would take some careful planing, and a lot of luck, but I might be able to pull it off. A badly distilled batch of whiskey, or a heavy barley wine masked by sugar could give me opportunity to escape. Considering my track record, I might even pull it off by accident.

Who knows, if the world became screwed up enough, maybe brewing would take on a mystical significance, and I might find myself exulted to warlord status. Stranger things have happened.

THE GRAIN BILL

• 10 Pounds 2-row
• 8 Ounces crystal
• 2 Ounces black
• 2 Ounces roasted barley
• 1 Pound wheat malt

THE MASH PROFILE

• Strike with 12 Litres @ 76° Celsius for 67° Celsius
• Rest for 90 Minutes
• Mash out, and sparge

The "mash out" is just my euphemism for getting the fucking sparge water as hot as possible from the beginning. It's an ongoing drama.

THE RESULTS

I ended up with 65° Celsius after the strike. An OK beta rest, but it wasn't what I intended (as usual), so I let it sit for 75 Minutes then pulled a decoction. That didn't really help either, and after the second decoction shot the grain bed up to 70° Celsius I figured that two hours of screwing around was enough for any mash.

A point of interest is that the yeast was wyeast 1275 that I repitched after collecting it from Louis Pasteur's primary. This was before I knew the unsettling results of that brew, so I was worried I would have more of the same off flavor this time around, but fortunately it turned out just fine.

• 1.5 Ounces goldings boil
• 1.5 Ounces goldings finish
• 1 Ounce goldings dry

OG: 1.049

TG: 1.007

As I said, the color was perfect, and the best result of this brew. It remains to be seen if I can repeat this success premeditatedly. In the future, (the dark future) I plan on replacing the 70L-80L crystal malt with different specialty malts which will not only bring different flavors, but will each have their own specific lovibond contributions to consider. It should be interesting.